My weekend in food: MO State Fair & Rich Fountain Parish Supper.
BTW: Here’s how middle Missouri works—I have NEVER been to Rich Fountain, but the ONE person I talked to in line for my carry out knows my family by my grandmother’s maiden name.
OH! And I should probably say those are red velvet fried oreos and fried jalepeno cheese (not a corn dog). Also, I didn’t eat all those oreos. I gave one to the nice old man who let me share his picnic table to eat them.
Because you have a shitton of candy left and you want to foist it off on your unwitting friends and family…
1. Mix up your favorite brownie batter. This one has little chocolate chips and fudge in it, but I literally have no opinion whatsoever on what kind you use. Seriously, if you want to use a mix in a box I’m completely cool with that. You be you.
2. In an 8x8 pan (you’re gonna need the depth), pour in just enough batter to cover the bottom of the pan. You probably want to grease the pan really well, because I have a strong feeling these bitches aren’t gonna want to let go easily.
3. Pack in a crapload of candy, chopped up into small pieces. Mine are roughly half inch cubes, but again, do what you want. Probably want to stick with the chocolate family, but it’s your brownie, I don’t care if it’s nasty. This is 9 regular size peanut butter cups (cut into cubes 3x3) and 8 pairs of kitkat breaks (cut in quarters).
4. Try to get the candy layer flattened out as much as you can because now you want to add the rest of the batter, spreading until it covers all the candy. This is gonna take some finesse, especially if you’ve got a bunch of points sticking up.
5. Now, top it off with some more candy. Why? Because AMERICA, that’s why. Fuck off, these are my brownies and I’ll do what I want to. This is 8 fun size hershey bars.
6. Bake per standard recipe instructions. Though, let’s be honest, it’s probably going to take longer because you’ve assaulted this recipe with a diabetic coma waiting to happen.
7. HEAVEN in 64 square inches.
@benaffleck is so prescient: “The Internet has given everyone in America a voice…”
Here is Golden Globe award winner Don Cheadle arriving for table read this morning.
Rhodey, too much time with Tony, okay?
OMG! Is this ever adorable!
Disney Parks: Donald and the duckies